Not to long ago Kim told me about a message her preacher gave about "at the end everything goes back in the box" as always that kind of phrase makes me think.
She is quite the reporter of his messages. I think you have to hear him speak and how he presents his message and listen to the way he uses phrases and objects to illustrate his message.

This past month I have found myself in a new but familiar place. I am days away from finding out if I have a job. The economy and other circumstances have placed this situation right in my lap. Not only will I be unemployed but will have to move. I know this will sound selfish to some but giving up my garage will be the most difficult to let go. I love pulling up pushing this little button, watch the door raise and pull my car in and one more push of that little button and the door shuts. Wow, it is so neat. I don't have to get wet, too cold, scrape my windows, or trudge up the drive to put my groceries away. I love the security of pulling in and shutting the world out. I can be home if I want or I can pretend I am gone. No one knows since you can't tell if my car is there or not.

I will be leaving behind a program I helped to design and develop but making the garage and the job equal, the garage wins. I love my condo and the space. I do believe that God lead me to it, it was a late night find on the computer, I didn't find it Kim did. Right location, right price ( well almost) and there was a bonus of an office. But as I look ahead the message that Kim sent me has started to make sense. After all this is just stuff, material things not eternal things and at the end they will all go back in the box. I have enjoyed my 2 years living here and unlike many others losing their jobs I do have a place to go until I can decide on another plan. The past 5 years working at this agency and with the county has offered me new learning experiences. I have met many new people and have learned new things about AOD issues, Homeless programs, Mental Health and I wouldn't change a thing.

So what now Lord I have been asking, where to Lord and is there a plan? Cause I am always making plans and not always patient when it comes to the details. Everytime there is a change once made I am amazed at where I end up and what new things I am doing.

It is almost Christmas, my tree is up but half the lights are burned out, the bow never got on top, my village is still sitting in the plastic tub and the house looks like Christmas has already been here and gone.

I had such hope..

my enthusiasm got up and went and no matter how much self talk I do I am struggling to make myself motivated to get it finished. So this year I am not going to worry about it being perfect, or the obvious unfinished decorations, instead I am going to remember that Christmas is about Family, Family support each other and giving is about sharing our love for one another and this year I will just place my lamp closer to the tree, place a few more shiny bulbs in the black out area of my tree and when someone asks where is the topper for my tree I am going to reply "It's there, can't you see it?" Well, maybe I forgot to take it out of the box. That would be just my luck.