Not to long ago Kim told me about a message her preacher gave about "at the end everything goes back in the box" as always that kind of phrase makes me think.
She is quite the reporter of his messages. I think you have to hear him speak and how he presents his message and listen to the way he uses phrases and objects to illustrate his message.
This past month I have found myself in a new but familiar place. I am days away from finding out if I have a job. The economy and other circumstances have placed this situation right in my lap. Not only will I be unemployed but will have to move. I know this will sound selfish to some but giving up my garage will be the most difficult to let go. I love pulling up pushing this little button, watch the door raise and pull my car in and one more push of that little button and the door shuts. Wow, it is so neat. I don't have to get wet, too cold, scrape my windows, or trudge up the drive to put my groceries away. I love the security of pulling in and shutting the world out. I can be home if I want or I can pretend I am gone. No one knows since you can't tell if my car is there or not.
I will be leaving behind a program I helped to design and develop but making the garage and the job equal, the garage wins. I love my condo and the space. I do believe that God lead me to it, it was a late night find on the computer, I didn't find it Kim did. Right location, right price ( well almost) and there was a bonus of an office. But as I look ahead the message that Kim sent me has started to make sense. After all this is just stuff, material things not eternal things and at the end they will all go back in the box. I have enjoyed my 2 years living here and unlike many others losing their jobs I do have a place to go until I can decide on another plan. The past 5 years working at this agency and with the county has offered me new learning experiences. I have met many new people and have learned new things about AOD issues, Homeless programs, Mental Health and I wouldn't change a thing.
So what now Lord I have been asking, where to Lord and is there a plan? Cause I am always making plans and not always patient when it comes to the details. Everytime there is a change once made I am amazed at where I end up and what new things I am doing.
It is almost Christmas, my tree is up but half the lights are burned out, the bow never got on top, my village is still sitting in the plastic tub and the house looks like Christmas has already been here and gone.
I had such hope..
my enthusiasm got up and went and no matter how much self talk I do I am struggling to make myself motivated to get it finished. So this year I am not going to worry about it being perfect, or the obvious unfinished decorations, instead I am going to remember that Christmas is about Family, Family support each other and giving is about sharing our love for one another and this year I will just place my lamp closer to the tree, place a few more shiny bulbs in the black out area of my tree and when someone asks where is the topper for my tree I am going to reply "It's there, can't you see it?" Well, maybe I forgot to take it out of the box. That would be just my luck.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Come on Put on those Shoes
Let me get my shoes on was my grandmother. Every time you called to asked her to go somewhere she always had the same quick reply and the standard answer “just give time to get my shoes on”. She lived a wonderful life filled with adoring grandchildren and great grandchildren and put her last pair of shoes on at the age of 99. She was destined we all thought to reach the 100 mark, you know, where Willard Scott has their picture on the Smucker’s Jelly Jar and comments on each one as a form of honor. I think if she would have had that privilege I would have told about her shoes. It always struck me how fragile she seemed at times, yet, out she would come with her red high heels. Now, they were not very high but none the less I have forever taken that style from my wardrobe but she never seemed phased by walking anywhere with those shoes.
My grandmother was a preacher’s wife and I used to love going to her house to stay when I was a child. It was a place to use your imagination. Upstairs in the parsonage was a little door with bags of donated clothes. Several times I would go up there, pull out a bag and try things on, including the hats. In that very moment I was the preacher’s wife and the lady of the house. Evangelists used to stay at the home of the pastor and when they would come for a revival my grandmother would cook a big meal with tapioca pudding. I remember because I thought that it looked a lot like a bowl of bubbles. Mmmm, it was awfully good. But the very best part of the day was setting the table. That was my job and there was never a comment about how I did only nice words that praised my effort. They thought I was quite the granddaughter they let me roam the house sit and talk but most of all they made me feel that I was home. I loved to go in after school, go to the refrigerator and peek around to my grandpa and say “hi, Pa”, and continue my search for something to eat and if my grandfather were alive today he would tell you I should stop that mad dash to the fridge cause I am very “fleshy”. He was a tell it like it is person, if you preach you have to be honest.
The one thing that my grandmother did to make my arrival special from time to time was make me a big cup of Ovaltean she would put canned milk along with regular milk to give it a special taste and if I were lucky there would be a few marshmallows floating on top. As my grandmother got older it was fascinating to watch her evolve. One night sitting with her she told me how she never quite agreed with my Grandpa’s preaching on what you should wear but always respected him to dress accordingly. Then she went on to talk about the TV she didn’t really care for it but boy did she get upset with Marsha Clark during the OJ trial. When she went to the nursing home she would not use it because she was afraid it would disturb the other patients. She was lots of fun, she loved to play checkers, could recite the states and then recite the alphabet backwards. She was one special lady. I bought her a large print Bible and she read all the way through then stuck it in her purse and gave it back. I have high blood pressure and of course she had taken garlic tablets for years for her blood pressure. One Sunday we were sitting together in church and she digs in her purse and pulls out a bottle wrapped up in a bread bag and, you got it, there was a big jar of garlic pills. She whispered to me to put them in my purse and take them. One funny thing that stood out to me was my uncle’s grandson had red hair and he didn’t like it so she told him to bleach it like the girls do. I just looked at her like she grew two heads. 90 some years and she was promoting bleach. She had a competitive spirit and a wonderful sense of humor. She listened when you talked.
Although it has been a few years since she has been gone her memory will come up in conversation when we send balloons to the sky to share with her. Or Sam will comment on missing Great Grammy. We chat about her tea and how we thought she had a secret recipe and all the time is was a jar of Nestle instant tea. We treasured that gallon jug when she made it for us to take home. One time she made her own soap out of lye. She made me a bar to use to do my laundry. At the time I thought “ I am so sure I am going to go home and shave that into my washer”. One time I came in and she had painted this metal frame and had her flower pots in it then on closer inspection I saw it had once been a rack for the grave sites. Ugh. She made me pot holders to take home. She had crocheted the outer part and then told me the inside was made from the lint in her dryer. Nothing was wasted and every thing had a dual purpose. The people preaching Green today should have met my grandmother. I suppose that now that I have reached the grand ole age of 60 I am trying to think of things my grandchildren and I can do that they can write about later. Well, that will take more time than a few hours. Mostly they will probably tell you that my fire alarm beeps until their dad can come and change the battery. Or that we eat out more than in. Well, you get the picture. I guess the moral of my story is I am really lucky to have had this wonderful heritage of family and I really hope as a family we pass it on.
My grandmother was a preacher’s wife and I used to love going to her house to stay when I was a child. It was a place to use your imagination. Upstairs in the parsonage was a little door with bags of donated clothes. Several times I would go up there, pull out a bag and try things on, including the hats. In that very moment I was the preacher’s wife and the lady of the house. Evangelists used to stay at the home of the pastor and when they would come for a revival my grandmother would cook a big meal with tapioca pudding. I remember because I thought that it looked a lot like a bowl of bubbles. Mmmm, it was awfully good. But the very best part of the day was setting the table. That was my job and there was never a comment about how I did only nice words that praised my effort. They thought I was quite the granddaughter they let me roam the house sit and talk but most of all they made me feel that I was home. I loved to go in after school, go to the refrigerator and peek around to my grandpa and say “hi, Pa”, and continue my search for something to eat and if my grandfather were alive today he would tell you I should stop that mad dash to the fridge cause I am very “fleshy”. He was a tell it like it is person, if you preach you have to be honest.
The one thing that my grandmother did to make my arrival special from time to time was make me a big cup of Ovaltean she would put canned milk along with regular milk to give it a special taste and if I were lucky there would be a few marshmallows floating on top. As my grandmother got older it was fascinating to watch her evolve. One night sitting with her she told me how she never quite agreed with my Grandpa’s preaching on what you should wear but always respected him to dress accordingly. Then she went on to talk about the TV she didn’t really care for it but boy did she get upset with Marsha Clark during the OJ trial. When she went to the nursing home she would not use it because she was afraid it would disturb the other patients. She was lots of fun, she loved to play checkers, could recite the states and then recite the alphabet backwards. She was one special lady. I bought her a large print Bible and she read all the way through then stuck it in her purse and gave it back. I have high blood pressure and of course she had taken garlic tablets for years for her blood pressure. One Sunday we were sitting together in church and she digs in her purse and pulls out a bottle wrapped up in a bread bag and, you got it, there was a big jar of garlic pills. She whispered to me to put them in my purse and take them. One funny thing that stood out to me was my uncle’s grandson had red hair and he didn’t like it so she told him to bleach it like the girls do. I just looked at her like she grew two heads. 90 some years and she was promoting bleach. She had a competitive spirit and a wonderful sense of humor. She listened when you talked.
Although it has been a few years since she has been gone her memory will come up in conversation when we send balloons to the sky to share with her. Or Sam will comment on missing Great Grammy. We chat about her tea and how we thought she had a secret recipe and all the time is was a jar of Nestle instant tea. We treasured that gallon jug when she made it for us to take home. One time she made her own soap out of lye. She made me a bar to use to do my laundry. At the time I thought “ I am so sure I am going to go home and shave that into my washer”. One time I came in and she had painted this metal frame and had her flower pots in it then on closer inspection I saw it had once been a rack for the grave sites. Ugh. She made me pot holders to take home. She had crocheted the outer part and then told me the inside was made from the lint in her dryer. Nothing was wasted and every thing had a dual purpose. The people preaching Green today should have met my grandmother. I suppose that now that I have reached the grand ole age of 60 I am trying to think of things my grandchildren and I can do that they can write about later. Well, that will take more time than a few hours. Mostly they will probably tell you that my fire alarm beeps until their dad can come and change the battery. Or that we eat out more than in. Well, you get the picture. I guess the moral of my story is I am really lucky to have had this wonderful heritage of family and I really hope as a family we pass it on.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
If you bow your head it is not gossip........
I grew up going to church where you had to wear the holy bun, dresses to your ankles, no jewelry, no makeup, and they really preferred you didn't curl your hair. TV was a definite signal that sin was at your doorstep. Going to dances or to the movies was sure to send you to Hell.
One preacher referenced the Nazarenes as being worldly and from the pulpit stated that if he saw someone that he felt was not living the Christian life he would cross the street rather than speak to them. HMMM Then there was the pastor that said if he came to visit a home and saw a television antenna he would not go to the door. HMMM There was the pastor that preached on a woman's hair was her glory, now I had just cut my hair to shoulder length, a young man pointed that scripture out to me after church letting me know that I may have just committed the big one, being the person I am I quickly answered that I thought God probably appreciated my hairdo much better than his mother's. I continued "look at her hair it is partially in a hairnet and the rest is straggling all over her face". He shut is bible and walked away, guess he thought I was a lost soul.
The one thing I remember the most from this group of people was their feeling and belief that they had the right to judge and that somehow their sacrifice was far more superior than anyone else. The best example of this was the treasurer of one church who stood to give the annual report.
She started this way:
As most of you know we have had a bad year of giving. So I have struggled to keep the lights on and to pay the expenses. Now paying the preachers salary was difficult and to pay his utilities. As some of you know he was going to marry my daughter but when we were planning the wedding we found out he wasn't ordained. He says he has been working on it and it is almost done but now we will have to get someone else. This has been really stressful. I think his salary was based on bein ordained. Did anyone else know this? (the preacher is sitting behind her) Also, most of you know how I have been saving for a winter coat and almost have enough saved to buy it. But I stand here with all these bills and well, I put my coat money in to pay the utilities even though I will have to wait now till next year to buy that coat.... Everytime I share this story and think about it I have to chuckle... Sacrificial giving is rarely known, it is so personal.. this annual report had offered an opportunity to tell a bit of gossip.. no matter who it hurt...
One church would not let the trio I sang with sing because I had a class ring and short hair. Finally someone advocated for us and when we got up to sing everyone looked down. I guess if you look at someone sin rubs off. HMMM... Funny thing I see many of those same people now and miracle of miracle, they have curled their hair, dropped the hairnet and in some cases may have TV's but we may never know since antenna's are no longer needed, wouldn't that have put that preacher over the edge.
Then there is the pew preacher that when time to testify takes to the aisle and goes down each aisle pointing at different people covering the areas of each person's fault that they want to cover for the preacher. Sometimes the person sitting there is blindsided by the things the finger pointer is sharing with the other parishioners. Cause,if anyone knows what you are doing wrong, they do, usually they are driving past your house and checking on you.
My last one I saved because it was so, so, I went to church with my grandparents and the older preacher was of course preaching about things. As he got heated up and pounding the pulpit he said " the devil has many ways to pull us in with all the modern devices. First we have the the electric lights and now the bathtub it is just the devils way to pull us in to a way of the world" " Sin, Sin, that is all these modern do dads are" So those of you who use your tub and lights you might want to pray for forgiveness first. If you have cable, well, I don't know. it may take a village to save you.
Let's be careful when we have a platform to speak from that we are using it to serve those who are in need and those of us who have positions of influence let's remember that we are privileged with lots of information that needs to remain private.
One preacher referenced the Nazarenes as being worldly and from the pulpit stated that if he saw someone that he felt was not living the Christian life he would cross the street rather than speak to them. HMMM Then there was the pastor that said if he came to visit a home and saw a television antenna he would not go to the door. HMMM There was the pastor that preached on a woman's hair was her glory, now I had just cut my hair to shoulder length, a young man pointed that scripture out to me after church letting me know that I may have just committed the big one, being the person I am I quickly answered that I thought God probably appreciated my hairdo much better than his mother's. I continued "look at her hair it is partially in a hairnet and the rest is straggling all over her face". He shut is bible and walked away, guess he thought I was a lost soul.
The one thing I remember the most from this group of people was their feeling and belief that they had the right to judge and that somehow their sacrifice was far more superior than anyone else. The best example of this was the treasurer of one church who stood to give the annual report.
She started this way:
As most of you know we have had a bad year of giving. So I have struggled to keep the lights on and to pay the expenses. Now paying the preachers salary was difficult and to pay his utilities. As some of you know he was going to marry my daughter but when we were planning the wedding we found out he wasn't ordained. He says he has been working on it and it is almost done but now we will have to get someone else. This has been really stressful. I think his salary was based on bein ordained. Did anyone else know this? (the preacher is sitting behind her) Also, most of you know how I have been saving for a winter coat and almost have enough saved to buy it. But I stand here with all these bills and well, I put my coat money in to pay the utilities even though I will have to wait now till next year to buy that coat.... Everytime I share this story and think about it I have to chuckle... Sacrificial giving is rarely known, it is so personal.. this annual report had offered an opportunity to tell a bit of gossip.. no matter who it hurt...
One church would not let the trio I sang with sing because I had a class ring and short hair. Finally someone advocated for us and when we got up to sing everyone looked down. I guess if you look at someone sin rubs off. HMMM... Funny thing I see many of those same people now and miracle of miracle, they have curled their hair, dropped the hairnet and in some cases may have TV's but we may never know since antenna's are no longer needed, wouldn't that have put that preacher over the edge.
Then there is the pew preacher that when time to testify takes to the aisle and goes down each aisle pointing at different people covering the areas of each person's fault that they want to cover for the preacher. Sometimes the person sitting there is blindsided by the things the finger pointer is sharing with the other parishioners. Cause,if anyone knows what you are doing wrong, they do, usually they are driving past your house and checking on you.
My last one I saved because it was so, so, I went to church with my grandparents and the older preacher was of course preaching about things. As he got heated up and pounding the pulpit he said " the devil has many ways to pull us in with all the modern devices. First we have the the electric lights and now the bathtub it is just the devils way to pull us in to a way of the world" " Sin, Sin, that is all these modern do dads are" So those of you who use your tub and lights you might want to pray for forgiveness first. If you have cable, well, I don't know. it may take a village to save you.
Let's be careful when we have a platform to speak from that we are using it to serve those who are in need and those of us who have positions of influence let's remember that we are privileged with lots of information that needs to remain private.
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