Reflections

Here I sit at 2:15 AM trying to get tired enough to sleep. I have been listening to music for the past 20 minutes or so. Josh my grandson said to me yesterday that October had been a real bad month for me, I have to agree. My grandson's stay overnight a lot and they love going back in the bedrooms to watch TV but they do love to jump more. The constant prediction that one day if they continued jumping something bad would happen. Well, it did. Of course it couldn't be in my room, no they were on my parents bed and sure enough the ultimate disaster, the bed frame broke and down the corner of the bed thumped. Thankfully all the instruments stored under the bed were spared but not my nerves. I saw my life flash in front of my eyes, or does that only happen to those who are near death. Poor Sam rushed to the bathroom crying and gagging he was so scared and Josh came out whistling. Somehow, Josh's approach seemed to be more calming. Then I decided to take the boys to trunk or treat at two different churches and because walking without a shopping cart is difficult I remained in my car as they ran around getting another bag of candy. I listened to my radio, forgot my lights were on, then when the boys came back to the car we were trapped by other cars around us so we sat there looking at their hull of goodies and then suddenly a gap was available and I decided to pull around with caution of course so I turned my key and all I heard was the dreaded click click click no power and I am trying to remain focused on what in the world would cause my battery to run down. So I called my son and as positive as he can possibly be he pointed out that sitting several hours with all that running without the engine on was probably the cause and yes he would come save me from two sugar high boys and a dead battery,if he could find me.

You see I am having company this Friday and now they will have to sleep standing up or at least I plan to prop their feet up so they don't slide out of bed. But the very saddest part of this whole lament is the lady who cleans for me cannot come this week. So I will have to send my guests to the filling station restrooms, mine really need help. Or I am playing with the idea of renting a suite at the Country Inn and staying with my guests there. I will have to ponder this more.

So as I reflect on this situation I am reminded that things could be worse, I could be back in the hospital. Isn't funny how things such as the above develop out of choices we make. Even though the boys have been warned many times they made a choice to continue. Even though I know that sitting with everything humming in my car a dead battery could result yet I made a choice to ignore those thoughts and selfishly decided to play music sing along alone in my car and watch for the boys. Too bad we never reflect first before making choices. Poor Sam was totally green from fear so we talked about his choice that resulted in the damage. I asked him if he had decided to break the bed when he jumped, he said no. I said I didn't think so but see you decided to jump even though you knew it was wrong did he understand, he said yes. So even though my first thought was to beat his rear end the punishment was already administered by him waiting to see what would transpire.

Reflection is important. I had a bleeding ulcer that I am told is active and I had to have blood transfusions. Now the whole experience of what tests they performed to find this was invasive and gross so you would think that I would be super careful about what I am feeding this ulcer but no I am feeling better and you got it I am experimenting everyday with forbidden items.

I guess my thoughts are that if we spent time on reflecting about our past decisions and really made better choices our lives would flow better I am starting to think I have old timers setting in and my rationale has been impaired and soon the kids will hold a meeting about me and decide that I need to have 24/7 supervision and I will be like Sam green around the gills and waiting for someone to comfort me.