Come on Put on those Shoes

Let me get my shoes on was my grandmother. Every time you called to asked her to go somewhere she always had the same quick reply and the standard answer “just give time to get my shoes on”. She lived a wonderful life filled with adoring grandchildren and great grandchildren and put her last pair of shoes on at the age of 99. She was destined we all thought to reach the 100 mark, you know, where Willard Scott has their picture on the Smucker’s Jelly Jar and comments on each one as a form of honor. I think if she would have had that privilege I would have told about her shoes. It always struck me how fragile she seemed at times, yet, out she would come with her red high heels. Now, they were not very high but none the less I have forever taken that style from my wardrobe but she never seemed phased by walking anywhere with those shoes.

My grandmother was a preacher’s wife and I used to love going to her house to stay when I was a child. It was a place to use your imagination. Upstairs in the parsonage was a little door with bags of donated clothes. Several times I would go up there, pull out a bag and try things on, including the hats. In that very moment I was the preacher’s wife and the lady of the house. Evangelists used to stay at the home of the pastor and when they would come for a revival my grandmother would cook a big meal with tapioca pudding. I remember because I thought that it looked a lot like a bowl of bubbles. Mmmm, it was awfully good. But the very best part of the day was setting the table. That was my job and there was never a comment about how I did only nice words that praised my effort. They thought I was quite the granddaughter they let me roam the house sit and talk but most of all they made me feel that I was home. I loved to go in after school, go to the refrigerator and peek around to my grandpa and say “hi, Pa”, and continue my search for something to eat and if my grandfather were alive today he would tell you I should stop that mad dash to the fridge cause I am very “fleshy”. He was a tell it like it is person, if you preach you have to be honest.

The one thing that my grandmother did to make my arrival special from time to time was make me a big cup of Ovaltean she would put canned milk along with regular milk to give it a special taste and if I were lucky there would be a few marshmallows floating on top. As my grandmother got older it was fascinating to watch her evolve. One night sitting with her she told me how she never quite agreed with my Grandpa’s preaching on what you should wear but always respected him to dress accordingly. Then she went on to talk about the TV she didn’t really care for it but boy did she get upset with Marsha Clark during the OJ trial. When she went to the nursing home she would not use it because she was afraid it would disturb the other patients. She was lots of fun, she loved to play checkers, could recite the states and then recite the alphabet backwards. She was one special lady. I bought her a large print Bible and she read all the way through then stuck it in her purse and gave it back. I have high blood pressure and of course she had taken garlic tablets for years for her blood pressure. One Sunday we were sitting together in church and she digs in her purse and pulls out a bottle wrapped up in a bread bag and, you got it, there was a big jar of garlic pills. She whispered to me to put them in my purse and take them. One funny thing that stood out to me was my uncle’s grandson had red hair and he didn’t like it so she told him to bleach it like the girls do. I just looked at her like she grew two heads. 90 some years and she was promoting bleach. She had a competitive spirit and a wonderful sense of humor. She listened when you talked.


Although it has been a few years since she has been gone her memory will come up in conversation when we send balloons to the sky to share with her. Or Sam will comment on missing Great Grammy. We chat about her tea and how we thought she had a secret recipe and all the time is was a jar of Nestle instant tea. We treasured that gallon jug when she made it for us to take home. One time she made her own soap out of lye. She made me a bar to use to do my laundry. At the time I thought “ I am so sure I am going to go home and shave that into my washer”. One time I came in and she had painted this metal frame and had her flower pots in it then on closer inspection I saw it had once been a rack for the grave sites. Ugh. She made me pot holders to take home. She had crocheted the outer part and then told me the inside was made from the lint in her dryer. Nothing was wasted and every thing had a dual purpose. The people preaching Green today should have met my grandmother. I suppose that now that I have reached the grand ole age of 60 I am trying to think of things my grandchildren and I can do that they can write about later. Well, that will take more time than a few hours. Mostly they will probably tell you that my fire alarm beeps until their dad can come and change the battery. Or that we eat out more than in. Well, you get the picture. I guess the moral of my story is I am really lucky to have had this wonderful heritage of family and I really hope as a family we pass it on.

If you bow your head it is not gossip........

I grew up going to church where you had to wear the holy bun, dresses to your ankles, no jewelry, no makeup, and they really preferred you didn't curl your hair. TV was a definite signal that sin was at your doorstep. Going to dances or to the movies was sure to send you to Hell.

One preacher referenced the Nazarenes as being worldly and from the pulpit stated that if he saw someone that he felt was not living the Christian life he would cross the street rather than speak to them. HMMM Then there was the pastor that said if he came to visit a home and saw a television antenna he would not go to the door. HMMM There was the pastor that preached on a woman's hair was her glory, now I had just cut my hair to shoulder length, a young man pointed that scripture out to me after church letting me know that I may have just committed the big one, being the person I am I quickly answered that I thought God probably appreciated my hairdo much better than his mother's. I continued "look at her hair it is partially in a hairnet and the rest is straggling all over her face". He shut is bible and walked away, guess he thought I was a lost soul.

The one thing I remember the most from this group of people was their feeling and belief that they had the right to judge and that somehow their sacrifice was far more superior than anyone else. The best example of this was the treasurer of one church who stood to give the annual report.

She started this way:

As most of you know we have had a bad year of giving. So I have struggled to keep the lights on and to pay the expenses. Now paying the preachers salary was difficult and to pay his utilities. As some of you know he was going to marry my daughter but when we were planning the wedding we found out he wasn't ordained. He says he has been working on it and it is almost done but now we will have to get someone else. This has been really stressful. I think his salary was based on bein ordained. Did anyone else know this? (the preacher is sitting behind her) Also, most of you know how I have been saving for a winter coat and almost have enough saved to buy it. But I stand here with all these bills and well, I put my coat money in to pay the utilities even though I will have to wait now till next year to buy that coat.... Everytime I share this story and think about it I have to chuckle... Sacrificial giving is rarely known, it is so personal.. this annual report had offered an opportunity to tell a bit of gossip.. no matter who it hurt...

One church would not let the trio I sang with sing because I had a class ring and short hair. Finally someone advocated for us and when we got up to sing everyone looked down. I guess if you look at someone sin rubs off. HMMM... Funny thing I see many of those same people now and miracle of miracle, they have curled their hair, dropped the hairnet and in some cases may have TV's but we may never know since antenna's are no longer needed, wouldn't that have put that preacher over the edge.

Then there is the pew preacher that when time to testify takes to the aisle and goes down each aisle pointing at different people covering the areas of each person's fault that they want to cover for the preacher. Sometimes the person sitting there is blindsided by the things the finger pointer is sharing with the other parishioners. Cause,if anyone knows what you are doing wrong, they do, usually they are driving past your house and checking on you.

My last one I saved because it was so, so, I went to church with my grandparents and the older preacher was of course preaching about things. As he got heated up and pounding the pulpit he said " the devil has many ways to pull us in with all the modern devices. First we have the the electric lights and now the bathtub it is just the devils way to pull us in to a way of the world" " Sin, Sin, that is all these modern do dads are" So those of you who use your tub and lights you might want to pray for forgiveness first. If you have cable, well, I don't know. it may take a village to save you.

Let's be careful when we have a platform to speak from that we are using it to serve those who are in need and those of us who have positions of influence let's remember that we are privileged with lots of information that needs to remain private.

HO, HO, HO.. and a Happy New Year

Well, you better watch out,you better be nice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice, Santa Clause is (was already here)

This year was a good one for me as everyone Mom and Dad and Kim' family, but the adopted Huffledink Family in Texas came to my house and spent Christmas Eve. Santa came here after I personally called him to explain the Haines Family would be staying with me in Columbus. Sam was given the option of writing Santa a letter to let him know where he and Josh would be but he was ok with coming to my house, he just told his mom "MOP has his number she can call". Lots of confidence.

It took us nearly 3 hours to open everything, that sure is a lot of stuff. The boys each got the most important items on their Christmas list and were very happy with Santa's choices.

Those over 6 got nice things too. This year I tried to think of something special for everyone. I am not sure if ever there was time you could not buy Christmas, we had one of those years when the kids were in their early teens and could understand, I had to give out IOU's I think Tom may be the only one that held on to his. Ever since that time I have tried very hard to not just buy to give but to give things that each person will appreciate. I guess I need to pay up the IOU's, with interest the way it is and having a bank officer in the family I will probably get a bill that will wallpaper one room.

I loved being here when the kids woke up and came out to see what Santa had brought them. That shy smile Joshua gave when he saw Patrick, he just grabbed Patrick's cone head and sat on my lap, still smiling. He loves Patrick, cause he's pink. Sam got the mask that changes his voice he was quite proud of that so all day we heard everyone who could get that on their head try to say something. (it could get annoying) ha

I didn't set the oven on fire, just burned up the gizzard, liver and other internal organs. Forgot I put them in a pan to boil to add to our dressing. We had that big dinner that really no one felt like eating, I think we all wanted to lay down, wait, I did that. Every year I say let's just have sandwiches, potato salad, some vegetable and just let everyone eat when they want to. Well, maybe next year.

The TEXAS grandchildren had a wonderful Christmas and so didn't UPS, I paid for at least one tire or tank of gas in shipping charges. Being the savy business person I am, I ordered everything on line and shipped it to me, then turned around and shipped it to TEXAS. Kim, in her most loving and kind way pointed out the rationale of changing my process for next year.

Christmas comes so quickly and then poof it is gone. All that is left is the wrapping paper, bows (if you use them), and crumbs on the floor. But each time I pick something up to put it away I am reminded of what a wonderful time I had with my family and can't wait until next year.

Happy Holiday ,,,,

Trying to do something that you are not real good at is difficult to say the least. As a single mom I wanted my children to have the same experiences their friends were having and so I tried extra hard to find a way to make holidays special. Of course, what I planned didn't end the way I expected.

When the kids were younger my parents left for Florida before Thanksgiving and I wanted to have a nice meal so I started planning what I would buy at the grocery store. But as I added it was starting to be pretty expensive if I wanted to have a nice meal. The next week Foodtown offered a complete Thanksgiving Dinner for 39.95 all you had to do was order and let them do the cooking. So I make the call and the next week I send the boys to town to pick it up. While they are gone I set the table and get our drinks ready and I am feeling pretty proud that we would be sitting down to a nice meal. Well, the boys come in with a box and start taking containers out and then they remove a frozen turkey. Yep, you had to heat and bake to prepare, no short cut just the convenience of it being prepped and ready. So sometime near bedtime we were ready to eat our meal. The kids thought it was halarious and take every opportunity to share that moment with others.

But the worst one was Easter, I found an ad for Easter Dinner at a catering place at the edge of town called Carousel Concepts. Inside they have a big merry go round and they were advertising hand carved turkey and ham and sit down family style meals. So off we go with my parents to this metal pole barn with the carousel and we are seated at a table. What they didn't say was you had to stand in line to get your meat and they would bring you dishes of other food. Of course by the time you got your meat the other items were cold and you were lucky to get meat as the lines were long and slow. So of course, this has been a story dredged up at every holiday.

This year I used Bob Evans and their special feast. Overall the experience was much better but not the same as peeling your own potatoes and making your own vegetables. By the time I picked it up, drugged the box to the kitchen unloaded the items to the fridge, got up the next day removed those same items and warmed them up I could have fixed everything the old fashion way. However, I need to add I did try to do that last year and set the oven on fire on Christmas. The fire alarm was blaring, the house was filled with smoke, fire is shooting out of my oven and everyone is scurring around trying to put the flames out. So much for Christmas cheer.

Every year I visualize having this wonderful meal, the kids all here and a nice conversation and lots of fun, then the bubble bursts, I am hobbling from chair to chair, sweat pouring off my brow, I am still wearing my jeans and tee shirt, my hair is a mess, the TV is blaring, the grandkids are fighting and all the adults are yelling, "do you two want to go to bed?"

Perfection is not me, I want it but it is not within my reach. Through the years I have decided, from all my suggestions and ideas, I have provided my family hours of material for them to share with coworkers and friends. But always at the end of each holiday we all laugh and I am my kids biggest fan and share their laughter about these crazy moments for the last 30 years as priceless moments that not even I could have planned.

I just know one day they are going to tell me they have found me a new place to live that has a housekeeper, cook, someone does your laundry and you can even schedule to get your hair done there without leaving the apartment. I will be grabbing my clothes and packing my things, jump in the car and find myself in front of the HOME.

Can we all say S-u-r-v-i-v-e-d........

Actually, if I may quote my grandsons, I had a good time. God knew what He was doing when he turned a woman's biological clock off or at least on standby at an early age. I just couldn't move fast enough to really catch them when they did something I had just said no to. I tried to train them to give me a heads up if they planned to disobey but that was fruitless. I finally found when I gave them permission to do something only if they were willing to take the consequences did they start to make good choices. Joshua and I had to come to an agreement. He was not cooperating and he looked at me quite calmly and stated "you not in charge" quite confident that he had the last word. This was a pivotal point in our week ahead so I firmly pulled him from the tub sorta like giving birth and slapped his backside to see if he was breathing. At which he looked at me and stated "me and Namuel are big and we in charge" and promptly sat on the floor ala nude with a defiant look and we were headed for the battlefield. Now 59 with bad back and knees I had to choose the battle I needed to win. So I left him there on the cold tile and Sam and I went to watch a movie on the TV with the instruction to Joshua to get clothes on and join us if not we would see him in a couple of hours. I looked up later and he is carrying mis matched pajama's.

I remember a little girl one time saying to me when she was in trouble and I started to count 1, you need to stop, 2 get out of there, I am almost to three, 2, come on get in here, at which she promptly turned with hand on hip and said "i'll wait till you get to 10" Put a pair of pigtails on that little head of Josh and you have Kim's twin. Ha

As the years pass you forget the time spent trying to raise your children. I have even said I don't remember John, Tom, and Kim acting that way. Well, memories fade and when placed in the same environment I recalled those days gone by. Each boy has their own personality and they have needs for attention. Joshua I decided just screams louder and longer, (kim's same determination) ha. Sam is quiet and is a peace maker and gives in and up rather than fight. He has a low frustration rate. Sam is a deep thinker after this episode with Josh he said to me "MOP, when someone is yelling and getting in trouble it makes me feel like crying" at which he put his head down and cried. He seem to struggle the most with his parents gone. Although he didn't talk about their absence, he was definitely having moments of missing them.

Kim's computer would not work while there, I know what you are thinking, how do you survive without the internet. My answer, ok. We established eating out each night, then putting on our pajama's, reading the book Samuel had for homework, watching something they should not watch and saying our prayers and going to bed. Sam I do believe will be a preacher, he is very serious and told me I needed to go to Sunday School so I can go to Heaven and I needed to join Weight Watchers. So I am taking both suggestions under advisement.

I loved the hugs, and the impromptu shows of laughter and just being silly. I love to hear them talk about each other and how they hugged each other right before they punched the other. The last day I was putting on Joshua's shoes, after giving him the choice to go barefooted, he looked up and said " you know what?" I said "what" "I love you".

The only other problem was my getting sick which did not help me cope at times. Or that something had dumped the the trash all over the yard and the neighbors. My experience at my Work and Witness was rewarding. I enjoyed the hugs and if you are single that is something you can't do alone. So ask me if I would do it again.

Africa ..

Well, Kim and Wayne landed in Africa, it is official, she called my dad and we received an email giving us an update. It was dark when they got there so I expect they were unable to see much but hopefully they will be great reporters and bring back pictures and stories. They will be doing some construction work and visiting an orphanage and possibly a short safari. Kim bought baby blankets and wash clothes things listed on the web site. Mom and dad are doing their work and witness mission, they are watching the two amigos. As all kids at 6 and 3 will do they have chased each other and just found unusual ways to entertain themselves. For two little guys who's parents are in a foreign land they are doing ok. I will take my shift on Wednesday and be with them when the travelers come home.

What a once in a lifetime experience. When Kim first asked what I thought about her going to Africa I was thrilled, I suppose I thought this will probably not be so exciting as the reality of the trip gets closer. But if you know Kim she is driven by what she decides to do. She sees no obstacles, no barriers, just inconveniences. She has always been that way. As a kid we would go fishing, well, I went as an observer, she would bait her hook and throw in the line and say, with a smile, "I am going to catch a fish", sure enough out of the water came her fishing line and a good size fish hanging-on flopping in the breeze. When she played ball she would say "I am going to get a hit" sure enough up to bat she would go and there she would go to the next base off the hit. So this trip's evolution was a sure thing once she made the decision.

She has a heart of a missionary. She loves to help and give. Some people misunderstand her efforts as trying to take over or that she doesn't feel they can do a good job. But she just wants to help and as Mark Lowry says " she wants to be a blessing". So as she and Wayne, wake up in the morning and start this two weeks of service we need to pray for the work they are doing and that they both will come back with a new perspective and a better understanding of what it means to be called to service.

I'm so glad I'm a part of the family,,,,hummmmmm...

Well, the unofficial official family get together happened over the weekend. I am not sure just how many were there but I can tell you there was plenty of food and many mouths to eat it. There were the seniors of the family from the high eighties to the low 60's. Then the next level was the high 50's down to the low twenties. Our most important group was the high teens to the little unborn child. Many of us told little white lies like "you haven't changed in the last 10 years" but what we meant to say was " wow aging doesn't become you" or "you look so nice in that spandix" but we really meant " what were you thinking when you put that on". Only joking.

We have the neatest mix of relatives. They came from Michigan, Tennessee and all over Ohio. Everyone greeted each other with hugs and kisses sometimes several times by those who didn't remember they had hugged you twice before. Some couldn't remember who you were but trusted you were related. M&K made sure we were welcome in their home and made each person feel special. They decorated with fall items and just let people roam all over the place and they do have nice digs to roam in. The little kids played together and the teens talked to each other, I know I was surprised too.

Some couldn't come this year and yet more were here this year than last. This whole get together started with a small group last year talking about getting together and over 40 people showed up at M&K's house. The one nice part of our family is the musical side and even though it was difficult to get people to gather in we still sang a few old hymns and my mom and cousin's daughter played guitars and my cousin played the key board. We even had a harmonica player and hand tamborine. Some may have thought we were Salvation Army, we finally took the bell from Kelly and removed the big bucket. ( ha )

I guess I say all this to also interject these are special times of catching up on what is happening before we go to someones funeral and have to ask "now how are they related?" It is a busy world and as you sat back and looked around at all those who came, you had a sense of wow, this is something to actually ( sam's favorite word) know that this 60 some people are your family. Some of us, who can still recall past events, shared some stories about when we were younger, some of us talked about retirement, like it can't come fast enough. Others talked about their homes, what things have been going on and just laughing with others even when we had no idea what they were laughing about. I think we all agreed that grey hair is probably going to come back as a fashion statement this year and large sized clothes in dark colors do help make you look slimmer. Most of us could not read fine print so no one shared any written material. At the end of the day as everyone hobbled to their cars and strapped the kids and themselves to go home they were glad they made the trip and hope they can remember to come back next year. Those who can't will say " it's time to get ready to go to Marsha's" "who" "Marsha"s" "where" "you know Marsha's house"
"why do you want to go there" " we go there every year" "what" " you remember we go there to see everyone" "why" " never mind, just get in the car" " I don't know why you're so mad" " if you would have said we were going to go to their house I would have gotten ready" .....------ something like that is sure to happen to the best of us.

So to M&K thank you, thank you for all your hard work to let us invade your home and have a GRATE DAY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU