Old but Graceful

To do or not to do that is the question?

2011-12-03T19:31:00.000-08:00

So today I am reflecting on how difficult it is to share with people, especially people you are close to about issues that make them uncomfortable. Even though you know that about the person you still hope they will show interest and caring and let you unload for a little while. Since I live alone I found I am a poor listener and my advice to myself seems to be one sided. So I try to depend on those who I know well to be my sounding board but I recently discovered they are only trying to show they are interested because they don't want to hurt my feelings.

So I have decided to write and not burden my friends with things they cannot fully understand.

I have 5 wonderful grandchildren and they are facing difficult times that they have no control over. They are at the age where life should be carefree and full of fun with friends and activities to enjoy. So what can one grandma do? I am not sure, so as I counsel myself about this I am at lose about how I should provide support. As I struggle to use my edit button about certain individuals I am trying to think of examples from the past that will guide me with an appropriate action.

So here are some of my thoughts, pray, pray and pray for wisdom and guidance. Hope I am able to hear the answer and implement the plan. Be available when possible to provide hugs, brownies, cake, hugs, ice cream, hugs and throw in some kisses and positive comments. yep that sounds about right,

Then maybe I can do something special like a movie night at mops or some crafts with paper and drawing tools. Maybe I will sing to them, well that never worked to good with their parents, occasionally sponsor a pity party, with tissues and candle light.

I suppose I could refrain from cooking and order meals more often. I could also start family night where we sit like the Walton family and have meals at the table and share about our day, or I could make sure everynight I holler out goodnight Sam boy and good night Josh boy.. hope they don't look for those boys with those odd names.

I guess I really don't need to have a live person to help me, it seems like I may be getting the hang of doing this solo. But I do think I need to have some moral support now and then as talking to myself could land me in some hospital mental health ward being assessed by their in house therapist.

I suppose this too shall pass and should anyone read this it would be real helpful if you could remember Sam, Kailtyn, Tyler, Joshua and Lauren when you pray that they will feel God's presence in their lives and maybe the song I have shared with them that goes like this, Yes, Jesus love you, Yes, Jesus love you, hmmm, hmmm and hmmm
I always forget the ending.

Reflections

2011-10-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

Here I sit at 2:15 AM trying to get tired enough to sleep. I have been listening to music for the past 20 minutes or so. Josh my grandson said to me yesterday that October had been a real bad month for me, I have to agree. My grandson's stay overnight a lot and they love going back in the bedrooms to watch TV but they do love to jump more. The constant prediction that one day if they continued jumping something bad would happen. Well, it did. Of course it couldn't be in my room, no they were on my parents bed and sure enough the ultimate disaster, the bed frame broke and down the corner of the bed thumped. Thankfully all the instruments stored under the bed were spared but not my nerves. I saw my life flash in front of my eyes, or does that only happen to those who are near death. Poor Sam rushed to the bathroom crying and gagging he was so scared and Josh came out whistling. Somehow, Josh's approach seemed to be more calming. Then I decided to take the boys to trunk or treat at two different churches and because walking without a shopping cart is difficult I remained in my car as they ran around getting another bag of candy. I listened to my radio, forgot my lights were on, then when the boys came back to the car we were trapped by other cars around us so we sat there looking at their hull of goodies and then suddenly a gap was available and I decided to pull around with caution of course so I turned my key and all I heard was the dreaded click click click no power and I am trying to remain focused on what in the world would cause my battery to run down. So I called my son and as positive as he can possibly be he pointed out that sitting several hours with all that running without the engine on was probably the cause and yes he would come save me from two sugar high boys and a dead battery,if he could find me.

You see I am having company this Friday and now they will have to sleep standing up or at least I plan to prop their feet up so they don't slide out of bed. But the very saddest part of this whole lament is the lady who cleans for me cannot come this week. So I will have to send my guests to the filling station restrooms, mine really need help. Or I am playing with the idea of renting a suite at the Country Inn and staying with my guests there. I will have to ponder this more.

So as I reflect on this situation I am reminded that things could be worse, I could be back in the hospital. Isn't funny how things such as the above develop out of choices we make. Even though the boys have been warned many times they made a choice to continue. Even though I know that sitting with everything humming in my car a dead battery could result yet I made a choice to ignore those thoughts and selfishly decided to play music sing along alone in my car and watch for the boys. Too bad we never reflect first before making choices. Poor Sam was totally green from fear so we talked about his choice that resulted in the damage. I asked him if he had decided to break the bed when he jumped, he said no. I said I didn't think so but see you decided to jump even though you knew it was wrong did he understand, he said yes. So even though my first thought was to beat his rear end the punishment was already administered by him waiting to see what would transpire.

Reflection is important. I had a bleeding ulcer that I am told is active and I had to have blood transfusions. Now the whole experience of what tests they performed to find this was invasive and gross so you would think that I would be super careful about what I am feeding this ulcer but no I am feeling better and you got it I am experimenting everyday with forbidden items.

I guess my thoughts are that if we spent time on reflecting about our past decisions and really made better choices our lives would flow better I am starting to think I have old timers setting in and my rationale has been impaired and soon the kids will hold a meeting about me and decide that I need to have 24/7 supervision and I will be like Sam green around the gills and waiting for someone to comfort me.

2010-01-27T11:24:00.001-08:00

Good bye Garage

2009-01-23T19:49:00.000-08:00

Well, here I sit my last official night in my house next to my garage. After everything said and done I found the garage wasn't as special as I had made it to be. It is just a big square, cement floors stained with oil and mud from the constant trips in and out. It has unfinished walls and even though it gives shelter it still gets cold and feels damp.

Tomorrow when my son-in-law and daughter come to move my things I will pull out of my garage and drive away and I doubt I will shed a tear. You see this has been an unusual time for me. I lost my job, and within 7 days started a new job and never put an application out there. I received an email from a person I hadn't seen in over 5 years and she said I heard you lost your job and wondered if I would be interested in a position with her company. The real miracle was the offer of having my health insurance paid and work part time hours. I can't write all the details why this is so amazing but it was an answer to prayer. Not only did I have this offer I received a severance package, ability to draw unemployment, and I was able to start drawing on my ex husbands Social Security Benefit as a surviving spouse.

I have had a tremendous sense of relief and peace. I am now moving home at the age of 60 almost 61. Seems strange. I tried real hard to keep my job, it is hard to explain how you just know like a second sense that no matter what you do you can't stop the process from happening. At that point you know God must be sending you a life boat, a rescue boat and maybe a lifeguard so it is better to wait and see what He has planned. So needless to say I struggled with my situation and spent many sleepless nights and wondered if I was doing the right thing. So when I received the email the next week about this new job it just reaffirmed that God controls everything and He just needs to see if we are trusting Him.

So a new chapter is starting and I am rather anxious to see what the end of the story will look like. It could include a tall dark stranger with deep blue eyes and has lots of money and drives a fancy car. But knowing my luck I will find a strange dark curly haired dog riding in a fancy car and only eats expensive food.... Never know just have to wait and see... God is good.

2008-12-22T17:50:00.000-08:00

Not to long ago Kim told me about a message her preacher gave about "at the end everything goes back in the box" as always that kind of phrase makes me think.
She is quite the reporter of his messages. I think you have to hear him speak and how he presents his message and listen to the way he uses phrases and objects to illustrate his message.

This past month I have found myself in a new but familiar place. I am days away from finding out if I have a job. The economy and other circumstances have placed this situation right in my lap. Not only will I be unemployed but will have to move. I know this will sound selfish to some but giving up my garage will be the most difficult to let go. I love pulling up pushing this little button, watch the door raise and pull my car in and one more push of that little button and the door shuts. Wow, it is so neat. I don't have to get wet, too cold, scrape my windows, or trudge up the drive to put my groceries away. I love the security of pulling in and shutting the world out. I can be home if I want or I can pretend I am gone. No one knows since you can't tell if my car is there or not.

I will be leaving behind a program I helped to design and develop but making the garage and the job equal, the garage wins. I love my condo and the space. I do believe that God lead me to it, it was a late night find on the computer, I didn't find it Kim did. Right location, right price ( well almost) and there was a bonus of an office. But as I look ahead the message that Kim sent me has started to make sense. After all this is just stuff, material things not eternal things and at the end they will all go back in the box. I have enjoyed my 2 years living here and unlike many others losing their jobs I do have a place to go until I can decide on another plan. The past 5 years working at this agency and with the county has offered me new learning experiences. I have met many new people and have learned new things about AOD issues, Homeless programs, Mental Health and I wouldn't change a thing.

So what now Lord I have been asking, where to Lord and is there a plan? Cause I am always making plans and not always patient when it comes to the details. Everytime there is a change once made I am amazed at where I end up and what new things I am doing.

It is almost Christmas, my tree is up but half the lights are burned out, the bow never got on top, my village is still sitting in the plastic tub and the house looks like Christmas has already been here and gone.

I had such hope..

my enthusiasm got up and went and no matter how much self talk I do I am struggling to make myself motivated to get it finished. So this year I am not going to worry about it being perfect, or the obvious unfinished decorations, instead I am going to remember that Christmas is about Family, Family support each other and giving is about sharing our love for one another and this year I will just place my lamp closer to the tree, place a few more shiny bulbs in the black out area of my tree and when someone asks where is the topper for my tree I am going to reply "It's there, can't you see it?" Well, maybe I forgot to take it out of the box. That would be just my luck.

Come on Put on those Shoes

2008-06-09T17:19:00.000-07:00

Let me get my shoes on was my grandmother. Every time you called to asked her to go somewhere she always had the same quick reply and the standard answer “just give time to get my shoes on”. She lived a wonderful life filled with adoring grandchildren and great grandchildren and put her last pair of shoes on at the age of 99. She was destined we all thought to reach the 100 mark, you know, where Willard Scott has their picture on the Smucker’s Jelly Jar and comments on each one as a form of honor. I think if she would have had that privilege I would have told about her shoes. It always struck me how fragile she seemed at times, yet, out she would come with her red high heels. Now, they were not very high but none the less I have forever taken that style from my wardrobe but she never seemed phased by walking anywhere with those shoes.

My grandmother was a preacher’s wife and I used to love going to her house to stay when I was a child. It was a place to use your imagination. Upstairs in the parsonage was a little door with bags of donated clothes. Several times I would go up there, pull out a bag and try things on, including the hats. In that very moment I was the preacher’s wife and the lady of the house. Evangelists used to stay at the home of the pastor and when they would come for a revival my grandmother would cook a big meal with tapioca pudding. I remember because I thought that it looked a lot like a bowl of bubbles. Mmmm, it was awfully good. But the very best part of the day was setting the table. That was my job and there was never a comment about how I did only nice words that praised my effort. They thought I was quite the granddaughter they let me roam the house sit and talk but most of all they made me feel that I was home. I loved to go in after school, go to the refrigerator and peek around to my grandpa and say “hi, Pa”, and continue my search for something to eat and if my grandfather were alive today he would tell you I should stop that mad dash to the fridge cause I am very “fleshy”. He was a tell it like it is person, if you preach you have to be honest.

The one thing that my grandmother did to make my arrival special from time to time was make me a big cup of Ovaltean she would put canned milk along with regular milk to give it a special taste and if I were lucky there would be a few marshmallows floating on top. As my grandmother got older it was fascinating to watch her evolve. One night sitting with her she told me how she never quite agreed with my Grandpa’s preaching on what you should wear but always respected him to dress accordingly. Then she went on to talk about the TV she didn’t really care for it but boy did she get upset with Marsha Clark during the OJ trial. When she went to the nursing home she would not use it because she was afraid it would disturb the other patients. She was lots of fun, she loved to play checkers, could recite the states and then recite the alphabet backwards. She was one special lady. I bought her a large print Bible and she read all the way through then stuck it in her purse and gave it back. I have high blood pressure and of course she had taken garlic tablets for years for her blood pressure. One Sunday we were sitting together in church and she digs in her purse and pulls out a bottle wrapped up in a bread bag and, you got it, there was a big jar of garlic pills. She whispered to me to put them in my purse and take them. One funny thing that stood out to me was my uncle’s grandson had red hair and he didn’t like it so she told him to bleach it like the girls do. I just looked at her like she grew two heads. 90 some years and she was promoting bleach. She had a competitive spirit and a wonderful sense of humor. She listened when you talked.

Although it has been a few years since she has been gone her memory will come up in conversation when we send balloons to the sky to share with her. Or Sam will comment on missing Great Grammy. We chat about her tea and how we thought she had a secret recipe and all the time is was a jar of Nestle instant tea. We treasured that gallon jug when she made it for us to take home. One time she made her own soap out of lye. She made me a bar to use to do my laundry. At the time I thought “ I am so sure I am going to go home and shave that into my washer”. One time I came in and she had painted this metal frame and had her flower pots in it then on closer inspection I saw it had once been a rack for the grave sites. Ugh. She made me pot holders to take home. She had crocheted the outer part and then told me the inside was made from the lint in her dryer. Nothing was wasted and every thing had a dual purpose. The people preaching Green today should have met my grandmother. I suppose that now that I have reached the grand ole age of 60 I am trying to think of things my grandchildren and I can do that they can write about later. Well, that will take more time than a few hours. Mostly they will probably tell you that my fire alarm beeps until their dad can come and change the battery. Or that we eat out more than in. Well, you get the picture. I guess the moral of my story is I am really lucky to have had this wonderful heritage of family and I really hope as a family we pass it on.

If you bow your head it is not gossip........

2008-02-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

I grew up going to church where you had to wear the holy bun, dresses to your ankles, no jewelry, no makeup, and they really preferred you didn't curl your hair. TV was a definite signal that sin was at your doorstep. Going to dances or to the movies was sure to send you to Hell.

One preacher referenced the Nazarenes as being worldly and from the pulpit stated that if he saw someone that he felt was not living the Christian life he would cross the street rather than speak to them. HMMM Then there was the pastor that said if he came to visit a home and saw a television antenna he would not go to the door. HMMM There was the pastor that preached on a woman's hair was her glory, now I had just cut my hair to shoulder length, a young man pointed that scripture out to me after church letting me know that I may have just committed the big one, being the person I am I quickly answered that I thought God probably appreciated my hairdo much better than his mother's. I continued "look at her hair it is partially in a hairnet and the rest is straggling all over her face". He shut is bible and walked away, guess he thought I was a lost soul.

The one thing I remember the most from this group of people was their feeling and belief that they had the right to judge and that somehow their sacrifice was far more superior than anyone else. The best example of this was the treasurer of one church who stood to give the annual report.

She started this way:

As most of you know we have had a bad year of giving. So I have struggled to keep the lights on and to pay the expenses. Now paying the preachers salary was difficult and to pay his utilities. As some of you know he was going to marry my daughter but when we were planning the wedding we found out he wasn't ordained. He says he has been working on it and it is almost done but now we will have to get someone else. This has been really stressful. I think his salary was based on bein ordained. Did anyone else know this? (the preacher is sitting behind her) Also, most of you know how I have been saving for a winter coat and almost have enough saved to buy it. But I stand here with all these bills and well, I put my coat money in to pay the utilities even though I will have to wait now till next year to buy that coat.... Everytime I share this story and think about it I have to chuckle... Sacrificial giving is rarely known, it is so personal.. this annual report had offered an opportunity to tell a bit of gossip.. no matter who it hurt...

One church would not let the trio I sang with sing because I had a class ring and short hair. Finally someone advocated for us and when we got up to sing everyone looked down. I guess if you look at someone sin rubs off. HMMM... Funny thing I see many of those same people now and miracle of miracle, they have curled their hair, dropped the hairnet and in some cases may have TV's but we may never know since antenna's are no longer needed, wouldn't that have put that preacher over the edge.

Then there is the pew preacher that when time to testify takes to the aisle and goes down each aisle pointing at different people covering the areas of each person's fault that they want to cover for the preacher. Sometimes the person sitting there is blindsided by the things the finger pointer is sharing with the other parishioners. Cause,if anyone knows what you are doing wrong, they do, usually they are driving past your house and checking on you.

My last one I saved because it was so, so, I went to church with my grandparents and the older preacher was of course preaching about things. As he got heated up and pounding the pulpit he said " the devil has many ways to pull us in with all the modern devices. First we have the the electric lights and now the bathtub it is just the devils way to pull us in to a way of the world" " Sin, Sin, that is all these modern do dads are" So those of you who use your tub and lights you might want to pray for forgiveness first. If you have cable, well, I don't know. it may take a village to save you.

Let's be careful when we have a platform to speak from that we are using it to serve those who are in need and those of us who have positions of influence let's remember that we are privileged with lots of information that needs to remain private.

HO, HO, HO.. and a Happy New Year

2007-12-31T14:53:00.001-08:00

Well, you better watch out,you better be nice, gonna find out who's naughty or nice, Santa Clause is (was already here)

This year was a good one for me as everyone Mom and Dad and Kim' family, but the adopted Huffledink Family in Texas came to my house and spent Christmas Eve. Santa came here after I personally called him to explain the Haines Family would be staying with me in Columbus. Sam was given the option of writing Santa a letter to let him know where he and Josh would be but he was ok with coming to my house, he just told his mom "MOP has his number she can call". Lots of confidence.

It took us nearly 3 hours to open everything, that sure is a lot of stuff. The boys each got the most important items on their Christmas list and were very happy with Santa's choices.

Those over 6 got nice things too. This year I tried to think of something special for everyone. I am not sure if ever there was time you could not buy Christmas, we had one of those years when the kids were in their early teens and could understand, I had to give out IOU's I think Tom may be the only one that held on to his. Ever since that time I have tried very hard to not just buy to give but to give things that each person will appreciate. I guess I need to pay up the IOU's, with interest the way it is and having a bank officer in the family I will probably get a bill that will wallpaper one room.

I loved being here when the kids woke up and came out to see what Santa had brought them. That shy smile Joshua gave when he saw Patrick, he just grabbed Patrick's cone head and sat on my lap, still smiling. He loves Patrick, cause he's pink. Sam got the mask that changes his voice he was quite proud of that so all day we heard everyone who could get that on their head try to say something. (it could get annoying) ha

I didn't set the oven on fire, just burned up the gizzard, liver and other internal organs. Forgot I put them in a pan to boil to add to our dressing. We had that big dinner that really no one felt like eating, I think we all wanted to lay down, wait, I did that. Every year I say let's just have sandwiches, potato salad, some vegetable and just let everyone eat when they want to. Well, maybe next year.

The TEXAS grandchildren had a wonderful Christmas and so didn't UPS, I paid for at least one tire or tank of gas in shipping charges. Being the savy business person I am, I ordered everything on line and shipped it to me, then turned around and shipped it to TEXAS. Kim, in her most loving and kind way pointed out the rationale of changing my process for next year.

Christmas comes so quickly and then poof it is gone. All that is left is the wrapping paper, bows (if you use them), and crumbs on the floor. But each time I pick something up to put it away I am reminded of what a wonderful time I had with my family and can't wait until next year.

Happy Holiday ,,,,

2007-11-27T21:12:00.001-08:00

Trying to do something that you are not real good at is difficult to say the least. As a single mom I wanted my children to have the same experiences their friends were having and so I tried extra hard to find a way to make holidays special. Of course, what I planned didn't end the way I expected.

When the kids were younger my parents left for Florida before Thanksgiving and I wanted to have a nice meal so I started planning what I would buy at the grocery store. But as I added it was starting to be pretty expensive if I wanted to have a nice meal. The next week Foodtown offered a complete Thanksgiving Dinner for 39.95 all you had to do was order and let them do the cooking. So I make the call and the next week I send the boys to town to pick it up. While they are gone I set the table and get our drinks ready and I am feeling pretty proud that we would be sitting down to a nice meal. Well, the boys come in with a box and start taking containers out and then they remove a frozen turkey. Yep, you had to heat and bake to prepare, no short cut just the convenience of it being prepped and ready. So sometime near bedtime we were ready to eat our meal. The kids thought it was halarious and take every opportunity to share that moment with others.

But the worst one was Easter, I found an ad for Easter Dinner at a catering place at the edge of town called Carousel Concepts. Inside they have a big merry go round and they were advertising hand carved turkey and ham and sit down family style meals. So off we go with my parents to this metal pole barn with the carousel and we are seated at a table. What they didn't say was you had to stand in line to get your meat and they would bring you dishes of other food. Of course by the time you got your meat the other items were cold and you were lucky to get meat as the lines were long and slow. So of course, this has been a story dredged up at every holiday.

This year I used Bob Evans and their special feast. Overall the experience was much better but not the same as peeling your own potatoes and making your own vegetables. By the time I picked it up, drugged the box to the kitchen unloaded the items to the fridge, got up the next day removed those same items and warmed them up I could have fixed everything the old fashion way. However, I need to add I did try to do that last year and set the oven on fire on Christmas. The fire alarm was blaring, the house was filled with smoke, fire is shooting out of my oven and everyone is scurring around trying to put the flames out. So much for Christmas cheer.

Every year I visualize having this wonderful meal, the kids all here and a nice conversation and lots of fun, then the bubble bursts, I am hobbling from chair to chair, sweat pouring off my brow, I am still wearing my jeans and tee shirt, my hair is a mess, the TV is blaring, the grandkids are fighting and all the adults are yelling, "do you two want to go to bed?"

Perfection is not me, I want it but it is not within my reach. Through the years I have decided, from all my suggestions and ideas, I have provided my family hours of material for them to share with coworkers and friends. But always at the end of each holiday we all laugh and I am my kids biggest fan and share their laughter about these crazy moments for the last 30 years as priceless moments that not even I could have planned.

I just know one day they are going to tell me they have found me a new place to live that has a housekeeper, cook, someone does your laundry and you can even schedule to get your hair done there without leaving the apartment. I will be grabbing my clothes and packing my things, jump in the car and find myself in front of the HOME.

Can we all say S-u-r-v-i-v-e-d........

2007-10-28T11:42:00.000-07:00

Actually, if I may quote my grandsons, I had a good time. God knew what He was doing when he turned a woman's biological clock off or at least on standby at an early age. I just couldn't move fast enough to really catch them when they did something I had just said no to. I tried to train them to give me a heads up if they planned to disobey but that was fruitless. I finally found when I gave them permission to do something only if they were willing to take the consequences did they start to make good choices. Joshua and I had to come to an agreement. He was not cooperating and he looked at me quite calmly and stated "you not in charge" quite confident that he had the last word. This was a pivotal point in our week ahead so I firmly pulled him from the tub sorta like giving birth and slapped his backside to see if he was breathing. At which he looked at me and stated "me and Namuel are big and we in charge" and promptly sat on the floor ala nude with a defiant look and we were headed for the battlefield. Now 59 with bad back and knees I had to choose the battle I needed to win. So I left him there on the cold tile and Sam and I went to watch a movie on the TV with the instruction to Joshua to get clothes on and join us if not we would see him in a couple of hours. I looked up later and he is carrying mis matched pajama's.

I remember a little girl one time saying to me when she was in trouble and I started to count 1, you need to stop, 2 get out of there, I am almost to three, 2, come on get in here, at which she promptly turned with hand on hip and said "i'll wait till you get to 10" Put a pair of pigtails on that little head of Josh and you have Kim's twin. Ha

As the years pass you forget the time spent trying to raise your children. I have even said I don't remember John, Tom, and Kim acting that way. Well, memories fade and when placed in the same environment I recalled those days gone by. Each boy has their own personality and they have needs for attention. Joshua I decided just screams louder and longer, (kim's same determination) ha. Sam is quiet and is a peace maker and gives in and up rather than fight. He has a low frustration rate. Sam is a deep thinker after this episode with Josh he said to me "MOP, when someone is yelling and getting in trouble it makes me feel like crying" at which he put his head down and cried. He seem to struggle the most with his parents gone. Although he didn't talk about their absence, he was definitely having moments of missing them.

Kim's computer would not work while there, I know what you are thinking, how do you survive without the internet. My answer, ok. We established eating out each night, then putting on our pajama's, reading the book Samuel had for homework, watching something they should not watch and saying our prayers and going to bed. Sam I do believe will be a preacher, he is very serious and told me I needed to go to Sunday School so I can go to Heaven and I needed to join Weight Watchers. So I am taking both suggestions under advisement.

I loved the hugs, and the impromptu shows of laughter and just being silly. I love to hear them talk about each other and how they hugged each other right before they punched the other. The last day I was putting on Joshua's shoes, after giving him the choice to go barefooted, he looked up and said " you know what?" I said "what" "I love you".

The only other problem was my getting sick which did not help me cope at times. Or that something had dumped the the trash all over the yard and the neighbors. My experience at my Work and Witness was rewarding. I enjoyed the hugs and if you are single that is something you can't do alone. So ask me if I would do it again.

Africa ..

2007-10-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Well, Kim and Wayne landed in Africa, it is official, she called my dad and we received an email giving us an update. It was dark when they got there so I expect they were unable to see much but hopefully they will be great reporters and bring back pictures and stories. They will be doing some construction work and visiting an orphanage and possibly a short safari. Kim bought baby blankets and wash clothes things listed on the web site. Mom and dad are doing their work and witness mission, they are watching the two amigos. As all kids at 6 and 3 will do they have chased each other and just found unusual ways to entertain themselves. For two little guys who's parents are in a foreign land they are doing ok. I will take my shift on Wednesday and be with them when the travelers come home.

What a once in a lifetime experience. When Kim first asked what I thought about her going to Africa I was thrilled, I suppose I thought this will probably not be so exciting as the reality of the trip gets closer. But if you know Kim she is driven by what she decides to do. She sees no obstacles, no barriers, just inconveniences. She has always been that way. As a kid we would go fishing, well, I went as an observer, she would bait her hook and throw in the line and say, with a smile, "I am going to catch a fish", sure enough out of the water came her fishing line and a good size fish hanging-on flopping in the breeze. When she played ball she would say "I am going to get a hit" sure enough up to bat she would go and there she would go to the next base off the hit. So this trip's evolution was a sure thing once she made the decision.

She has a heart of a missionary. She loves to help and give. Some people misunderstand her efforts as trying to take over or that she doesn't feel they can do a good job. But she just wants to help and as Mark Lowry says " she wants to be a blessing". So as she and Wayne, wake up in the morning and start this two weeks of service we need to pray for the work they are doing and that they both will come back with a new perspective and a better understanding of what it means to be called to service.

I'm so glad I'm a part of the family,,,,hummmmmm...

2007-10-01T16:34:00.000-07:00

Well, the unofficial official family get together happened over the weekend. I am not sure just how many were there but I can tell you there was plenty of food and many mouths to eat it. There were the seniors of the family from the high eighties to the low 60's. Then the next level was the high 50's down to the low twenties. Our most important group was the high teens to the little unborn child. Many of us told little white lies like "you haven't changed in the last 10 years" but what we meant to say was " wow aging doesn't become you" or "you look so nice in that spandix" but we really meant " what were you thinking when you put that on". Only joking.

We have the neatest mix of relatives. They came from Michigan, Tennessee and all over Ohio. Everyone greeted each other with hugs and kisses sometimes several times by those who didn't remember they had hugged you twice before. Some couldn't remember who you were but trusted you were related. M&K made sure we were welcome in their home and made each person feel special. They decorated with fall items and just let people roam all over the place and they do have nice digs to roam in. The little kids played together and the teens talked to each other, I know I was surprised too.

Some couldn't come this year and yet more were here this year than last. This whole get together started with a small group last year talking about getting together and over 40 people showed up at M&K's house. The one nice part of our family is the musical side and even though it was difficult to get people to gather in we still sang a few old hymns and my mom and cousin's daughter played guitars and my cousin played the key board. We even had a harmonica player and hand tamborine. Some may have thought we were Salvation Army, we finally took the bell from Kelly and removed the big bucket. ( ha )

I guess I say all this to also interject these are special times of catching up on what is happening before we go to someones funeral and have to ask "now how are they related?" It is a busy world and as you sat back and looked around at all those who came, you had a sense of wow, this is something to actually ( sam's favorite word) know that this 60 some people are your family. Some of us, who can still recall past events, shared some stories about when we were younger, some of us talked about retirement, like it can't come fast enough. Others talked about their homes, what things have been going on and just laughing with others even when we had no idea what they were laughing about. I think we all agreed that grey hair is probably going to come back as a fashion statement this year and large sized clothes in dark colors do help make you look slimmer. Most of us could not read fine print so no one shared any written material. At the end of the day as everyone hobbled to their cars and strapped the kids and themselves to go home they were glad they made the trip and hope they can remember to come back next year. Those who can't will say " it's time to get ready to go to Marsha's" "who" "Marsha"s" "where" "you know Marsha's house"
"why do you want to go there" " we go there every year" "what" " you remember we go there to see everyone" "why" " never mind, just get in the car" " I don't know why you're so mad" " if you would have said we were going to go to their house I would have gotten ready" .....------ something like that is sure to happen to the best of us.

So to M&K thank you, thank you for all your hard work to let us invade your home and have a GRATE DAY!!!!!! WE LOVE YOU

Hope for tomorrow...

2007-09-19T17:46:00.000-07:00

Lots of things are happening and changing. The other night Sam was in my back seat and we were talking about some things that were happening. He was so serious, using a very big and quiet voice. He had some things to share and as we talked I told him probably the only real thing we could do to help would be to pray. The car was quiet and my thoughts are racing wondering what things I need to get at the store when I hear this soft voice saying " dear Jesus, help ----- to be better and don't let ---- happen, Amen" I left the blanks, it isn't real important to share the actual prayer, but the feeling that went into that small request. I didn't say anything for a while and the car remained quiet. He was in deep thought. A child shall lead them....

Joshua later followed up with showing me his elbow. He said "mop it almost gone, cause Jesus take care of the boo, boo. " " Jesus lives in Heaben...." A child shall lead them......

Lately there has been so many articles and stories of children facing horrific tragedies and how families are coping. It is heart wrenching and so unbelievably unfair sometimes. But in the end it seems they are wiser and smarter than all of us because they trust and rarely doubt. Once they are moving forward they just streak off leaving us in the dust. A child shall lead them....

I have read the Hummel's blog everyday and truly they have been a real blessing with their honesty and their questions and their strong faith. With everything they write and share you sense that if that were you in their shoes, walking the unknown would you have that same strength. But in the end a Child will lead them....

Life lesson's are not always easy. We tend to think we are exempt from those experiences that we hear about and sympathize with, so when it comes we are blindsided by the impact and struggle to make sense out of the experience. So I have found myself this week saying very quietly in my car " dear Jesus" cause you see a child has made a path for me to follow.......

The Big D and the Huffledinks

2007-09-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

I finally made the decision to fly to Dallas and visit the Huffledink family and see their brand new home and their newest Huffledink girl, Lauren and the two minature Huffledinks. They sure are cute. My flight was uneventful except for getting to the American Airline gate.

For those of you that see me struggle to my feet and then stop every 2o feet or less to rest, the idea of making my way to the terminal located at the end of the airport was not my idea of a wonderful exercise adventure. So where it asks if you need special accommodations they list wheelchairs, so I checked yes. What I didn't know is that American flags your boarding pass and immediately as the man was handing me the pass a little guy comes out asking if I need a wheelchair. I thought he was looking at someone else so I hesitated, then he asked again and I said I had requested one to get me to the gate. He immediately had me sit down then promptly yelled I need a WIDE one....... Well, so much for fading into the crowd.

My ride was ok although at times it felt like I was in a bad movie and the end would come as we landed the plane. This time the clouds were so thick that you thought you were floating on a huge layer of cotton... (candy) ha.... It was absolutely breathtaking.

When I got to Dallas since my seat was in row 30F I was one of the last to leave the plane and you guessed it there was an even shorter man waiting with a WIDE wheelchair (they must have called the request ahead) ready to take me to the baggage claim area. So we had a discussion, since his english skills were limited he pointed and I was trying to tell him I did not think the ratio of my weight and his size and gravity would work for him to push me up hill. He insisted and I being bigger kept walking as he followed me with the WIDE chair up the ramp. Just as we got close to the opening I finally sat down and then he strapped me in and off we went a whopping 10 feet to the baggage area where big daddy Huffledink met me.

As always it was good to see him and I will say he has shed a few pounds. Off we went to the Hamptons, just kidding we headed to his housing development. Big brick homes lined down the street. It was defintely a far cry from our trailer in Clyde. 5 bedroom 31/2 bath mini castle. The one really neat part of living where they live there is a mini theme water park within a few minutes from home.( there I go exaggerating again) only if you count the 5 pools and the spray park.

Kaitlyn is so pretty and getting older and losing teeth. She is always very lady like and sits with her leg crossed and swings the crossed leg with purpose. She growing up fast. Tyler was so cute, he didn't know whether to talk to me or not. He just looked at me and smiled a lot. Later he talked and talked. The kids have the entire upper floor, what I would have given to have had that kind of space when the john, tom and kim were small. Tyler choose wisely his room he is over the bridge and has his own private unit bath and all.

One neat thing that happened was Kim decided to drive down with her boys. For me it was so nice to see all the grandchildren together. Although they do not see each other often they sure did play together. As I sat an looked around I thought wow I have some cool kids. Kristena's grandparents came over for supper and we, daddy huffedink and sister hooter(kim) kept everyone entertained. The lasagna and the dessert was wonderful. Kristena has decorated everything very nicely and they seem to be making a wonderful home.

One really cute thing that happened was Kims kids call me MOP and Johns call me Grandma Jones. Joshua heard Tyler or Kaitlyn call me Grandma, he said you not Grandma you MOP.

Life is short I can verify that, one day you are 20 then suddenly you go to sleep and you are 59 how did that happen. One day your kids are running around fighting and laughing and suddenly they are parents of minatures of themselves. Lately I have been calling Sam (john) getting older is not good. Little Lauren is adorable and so petite, she has the bluest eyes they seem to be looking right through you. Unfortunately she seems quite attached to the Huffledinks and did not want them out of her sight.

Although my time was too short I am awfully glad I could go. Just before I left Tyler quietly came over to me and said real softly "grandma, you need to take off your shoes, my mom don't want you to wear them on the carpet". So I promise to remove my shoes the next time I come.
Families are important.... Mine are special

Answer to Prayer

2007-08-14T18:13:00.000-07:00

How Great Thou Art, How Great Thou Art, that was the opening song on the new Gaither video, it is also the answer to prayer. The MRI that Kim had came back ok, no aneurysm or any indication of the AVM on this test, so thank you for all the prayers. She has one more test tomorrow so continue to pray that this test will also come back ok. As Sam says" Mop, Jesus healed the boo, boo, He is doing it right now, see?"

Over the weekend we went to our family reunion, actually two reunions. It was hot as always, it must be some unwritten rule that reunions must be over 90 degrees and if possible a couple of real downpours. I would enjoy them so much more if there could be air conditioning with bathrooms across the room. Instead you have to hope you bladder will last to go up the hill and over the valley as you make your way to the two holes and a sears catalog.

This year we all, well, the north won the battle with the south and moved the reunion to Hocking Hills Family Center. It was about even in miles for all to travel. You know when you go on line and look at the pictures and all the descriptions of the facilities you think wow that will be neat. They offered go carts, putt, putt golf and sand volleyball. What they didn't tell you the pictures had been enhanced or taken right after they developed the property, ohhhh maybe 20 years ago. Kim made the arrangements, the first indication there may be a problem was the address on the online materials. After the announcements went out in the mail, Kim finds out that the address she has sent out is the address of the company, the Family Center is down the road, exactly off Co. Rd 10. We actually drove past the sign, I don't know how it was only about 2 feet high off the ground and hand painted pointed up a gravel road. Up being the relative word. It was straight up with pot holes and big chunky gravel or stones, it is up to interpretation. The flags I think were posted on the side to distract the faint of heart as your car spun on the gravel or stone. When we pulled up on level ground and I am proud to say we had no casualties, we see, well, not the advertisement. When Kim asked about the sand volleyball court, they sent a tractor to mow the grass that had grown up through the sand, I guess there was sand, couldn't tell due to the big chunks of grass. The putt putt was well let's say a putt. The go carts worked as did the bathrooms. So buyer beware of false advertisement.

Although it was not the fancy fun center we anticipated we had a good time with about 50 people in attendance. In comparison to the other place the South goes, the bathrooms were closer and there were games to play in the office / game room. And really the place is not the reason we get together it is the time to see who has aged, gotten a little heavier, who has the most children, who lives where, who has had a baby or is going to have one ( ANDREA) and where everyone is living. It is a test for the older of the group to see if they remember who is who.

So although it was hot it was good to see everyone again. I was brave and had the boys ride with me and stay the night in my motel room. Two boys and a overweight, bad back, stiff knees mop trying to keep up with dynamo Joshua was a feat. I decided he has a game plan. He starts in one area, gets me distracted, I start that direction and he does a 360 and off he goes in another direction grabbing something else and as I slowly turn and groan, he is off to his next mission. Then he will stop quickly which then throws me off center and I am teetering as he turns his back and says "I shake my bootie" and giggles. Just as I raise my foot to tap his bootie off he goes to do something else. To say the least by the time I got home I was out in a flash as soon as my bootie hit the couch. Sam on the other hand was the studious person. He would say" ok Mop this is a math question" I have 6 apples and someone takes 2 apples' now what will I do" I wanted to say whew, you only have to eat 4. But instead I would reply " well, how many will you have if you have 6 and someone takes 2" " that is a hard one Sam" he would say" MOP" very sternly" you have to count" holding up his fingers" you have 6 and 2 gone, 1, 2, 3, 4 you have 4" do you get it?" so ask me any questions about apples I know all the combinations it was an hour and half drive. As Josh turned the TV off, he added " that wasn't nice" and moved on.

It was a good weekend and now it would appear a good week. The many songs on this new tape were encouraging music, What a Friend we have in Jesus, Leaning on the Everlasting Arms, What a Friend is He, Jesus Love Me and Great is Thy Faithfulness. All needed when things seem out of control.

What's important?

2007-08-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

So each day I learn more about what is important. Sometimes I think having a new car, a big house, lots of money and someone to clean, cook, drive and fix my hair would be the ultimate of what is important. But then something happens that makes you sit back and take a real close look at what you have and you start to take inventory.
On one blog a young lady passed away from an illness, another is in a wheelchair from a diving accident, someone else trying to adopt a baby is now sitting by his bedside as he fights for life, a baby is scheduled for surgery, a young lady was killed while driving home after a big tree limb crushed her side of the car. A bridge collapsed and a young pregnate mother and her 2 year old are missing, a mine collapsed with 4 coal miners. What do you say when so much is going on around you.
Trying to find the important things and keeping our perspective. Kim has been having a whooshing sound in her head. She finally went to see the doctor it seems it can be a serious condition that could require surgery and is frightening to say the least. You see I would trade everything I own and anything I gain to not have that be so. And so we pray and wait for the results of her MRI and then the ultra sound of her arteries in her neck. As I thought of all the things that could be and hoped would not be I could only think of Sam and his faith. He will get a boo boo and may cry but the next time I see him he will point to the area and say "see Mop" Jesus fixed my boo boo" I may not tell this right but Joshua got hurt and Sam quickly said" See Joshua Jesus will fix it" and held his finger up and said "He is doing it now"
Children see the elementary of everything and the simplicity. They don't complicate it with how others might think if we express our faith. They don't try to analyze the situation and try to downplay the need to ask God to heal. They just believe. So I am going to take Sam's lead and just believe and have faith that God being the great physician will analyze the results of the test review the situation and will offer the outcome that is part of His plan.
But if you want to pray, it would definitely be appreciated.

The very first thing I am going to do is sing.........

2007-07-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

There my burden soul found liberty at Calvary... Now I own Him as my King... Mercy there was great and grace was free....Hmmmm Oh the mighty gulf God did span at Calvary...

I am sitting here listening to some old choruses over the Gaither Radio... Oh here is another one,
We'll soon be done with troubles and trials...in that home on the other side... I am going to sit down beside my Jesus and rest a litte while...

Remember when we sang these songs? Now we sing and sway to Praise the Lord Hummmmmm, Praise the Lord hummmmm, Praise the Lord hummmm, Lets sing it for the the 6th time in case someone didn't get all the words, all three. hummmm hummmm....

Sometimes you hope someone will call out let's sing page 202 in the hymnal, Blessed Assurance Jesus is Mine or Unworthy, Unworthy, a beggar in bondage and alone but He made me worthy and now by His grace His mercy has made me his own... Hummmm..... His mercy has made me His own.

Sometimes my day and week is so hectic and full of stress that when I sit down I am ready for something that is encouraging and uplifting, the old songs have messages of hope and the melody is always there in the back of your mind and when you hear the song you are transported back to the days of Sunday Morning. Such as this one.... It is joy unspeakable and full of Glory, full of glory , full of Glory, it is joy unspeakable, oh the half has never been told.

Are you tapping your toes yet?

I guess I am reflecting on the days gone by but sometimes I am thinking we should stand up and bellow out one of the songs. I was taken back when my mom said their church is no longer using song books. Another era gone, no printed words for others to read someone else will decide what you will sing and limit your options.

I guess I am having an old timers moment where I would like to do things like we used to. well not everything. Oh here is the one to end this little blog on and that is Jesus Loves Me This I Know..... Hummmm,,,,, Yes, Jesus Loves Me, Yes, Jesus Loves Me ...... In the background playing the piano for me is Anthony Burger.........as I sing the last verse....... come on join me in that last verse, if you don't remember the words, you can just hum along.... Have a wonderful week.

What a day!

2007-07-18T20:25:00.000-07:00

When talking to Kim she said Samuel had fallen off his new 20"inch bike and scraped up his elbow. He was distraught and as he cried he told her he was going to lay down cause it had been a bad day. I was thinking that was not a bad idea. Sometimes that seems to be the perfect answer to the times when things seem to be spiraling downward.

John has started to settle into his new home but not without some problems, which he will share in the near future. I am trying to figure out why I am trying so hard to do my job. Kim is working to secure her place on the plane to Africa and Tom may be the only one breezing through life without a major issue. Kelly is still looking for that job, the Hummel family is moving into a new home and ANON got a new hairdo all for a good cause and teaching her children about sacrifical giving.

I guess life is all about running the race and jumping the hurdles. Good thing God doesn't use stop watches. Today one of my staff sat in my office in tears and at one point sobbing all due to her job and the frustration she was feeling. Some of it was aimed at me for not addressing her needs and some of it was aimed at her coworkers. As we talked and I watched the tears keep welling up in her eyes I was struck at how often we go about without really seeing what is happening around us. I think we think if I let it go it will take care of itself or we just hope we don't really have to do anything. Right before that I met with a client that is fighting the system that is telling her it doesn't matter what her doctor has recommended she still has to participate and if she misses they will sanction her, meaning they will take her cash and her foodstamps. As my staff person used her last piece of paper towel to wipe her nose and dry her eyes, I apologized to her and promised to do better in the future and work on fixing the things that are causing her stress.

This morning I sat in a meeting with the county as they discussed the new system they are implementing. As I listened and observed I was struck on how little anyone planned for this big change. Someone asked where will their cubicle be, oh, they replied, we don't have enough space for our staff, but we are looking at our options. Ok, how about phones. Oh they said we will provide a phone. So will it be in my area. Oh, no we will have one for you all to use. Well. someone asked, how will we get in the office. Oh, we will give you a badge. But if you come in early you will need a special badge but if you come in with the other staff you won't need a badge. Of course if you are going to wander around in the building you will need a badge and oh yeah if you want to access the breakroom I guess you will need the other badge, well, we will get this worked out before the 6th of August. The big discussion revolved around two words prevents and barriers. Some in the room thought the word Barrier was too difficult for the clients to understand. Whew... Your tax dollars at work.

It seems that life is really like a box of cherry's as Forest Gump said, you just never know what you will get. A day can start out like any other day and end up like today. On a good note Joshua is officially wearing big boy underwear. So the only one not potty trained is Lauren and John said he has been discussing this with her and is hoping she will cooperate. Joshua is quite the drama king and the other day he was waging whether to go out or potty. Well, going out must have won but potty time should have come first, he started yelling "mop, MOP, MOOOPPPP,
I leaking, he sure was. I figure in my lifetime I may well be yelling the same thing.

So the moral of my story is .... be prepared(depends) don't panic and remember put off today what can wait till the morning or something like that.

Tagged...... Oh my

2007-06-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

8 things that are interesting facts about me. HMMMMMM...... I am not sure I can think of 8.But here goes.

1) I do not like my food seasoned, just salt and pepper... chips, chips, crackers, cheese, oh yeah,,,, I do not like stringy cheese, yuk.... Always have the pizza run through twice actually you get more cause no one wants to eat burnt pizza

2) I loved to go to Marsha's to eat. She makes the best sausage casserole and she demonstrated what a wife and mother should look like. It was important to me that the three amigos have this role model in their life at an early age. I believed home cooking was the next Bob Evans or the Thanksgiving meal you could purchase at Foodtown. Doing laundry was teaching them how to use the washer and dryer. Ironing was supervising them so they didn't get burned. Taking care of them when they were sick was to send them to school so the nurse could have them lay down, take their temperature and then call me to come pick them up.

3) I secretly wish for a housekeeper and cook, can be one person who can multi task or two people who shine in each category. I would like to have a gardner or just someone to mow and trim my yard. The problem with being single and old is you need someone to put your lightbulbs in.

4) I love mystery shows, but most of all I love HGTV ( i think that is right) I would love a house filled with antiques. A big house. Hence the need for number 3

5) I would like to be independently wealthy, I would love to go whenever I wanted to and buy things I like without the guilt. Not all the time but now and then. I wish I could spend the next few years visiting with my grandchildren. I am really getting tired of working.

6) I love all of the things that Martha Stewart demonstrates, mostly I envy her dishes and crocks. I have tried to imitate some things and that is exactly what it looks like.

7) I love to read, Max Lucado is one of my favorites. One day I would like to write a book. My title would be Walk in My Shoes if You Can Find a Pair.

8) I used to be an electrical draftsman, so if your phone doesn't work just right, oops

Whew that was taxing, I am sure there is more but no sense boring anyone.

Movin, movin, movin.......

2007-06-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

On the road again, la,la, la, la, la, la road again...... hmmmm hmmm. Sing it with me and if you know the words then go ahead. I hear the music but somewhere the words are lost and I am unable to retreive them. So I am always someone you want to have to start the crowd singing and then pull me in to make a big ending. Same way with names. I can recall what you wore last tuesday but not your name. I thought by keeping my children's names simple, John, Tom, Kim, that I would have no problem but that was not to be. I ran the list each time I wanted one to do something. John said until he graduated he thought his name was Johntomkim, when they called his full name he hesitated before he stood. (he is such a kidder) ha

If you have read his blog you know he is moving. For me I am sad and awfully proud of his accomplishments. To think at his age he would be making a great wage and lots of perks. His sister was talking about his year book and what he had been most likely to do when he graduated. They voted a TV Evangelist. I guess Rod Parsley and Joel Olsteen can rest for a little while longer. Life has a way that it takes us to new and unusual places and opens doors to adventures and exciting opportunities if we let it. I have been the risk taker with my career all trying to maintain employment and earn a wage that I could raise my family. I have made some mistakes and not made good choices but in the end I can only say I don't think I would change much. I have had opportunities to live in new places, work with wonderful people and I can usually count on seeing someone I know whenever I am at a place or town I have worked before.

I think about this move for John, better known as Big Daddy Huffledink, that he will be going back to an area he has worked before, a church he attended, and this time with his family. And for his wife an opportunity to live near her grandparents and aunts and cousins. It offers their children to meet and spend time with this side of their family. So I may not like the move but I am glad they will get this chance.

Branching out is scary but oh so nice if you are learning and sharing. So I am saving my vacation and saving money for tickets so I can visit. I have never been to the big D as the Big Guy put it.
I am shopping for a cowgirl hat and some chaps to wear on my flight to see them. My thought is if I am looking a little, well, ok, a lot out of place I can have the seat next to me. So adios, goodbye, so long, and remember to send me the new address and the phone number. Don't make have to hunt you down, I am your mom you know.?

OOOPPPPSSSS...

2007-06-19T16:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever hit a button and before you could really think through what might happen your finger hits it and yikes, oh --------. Well, that is what I did. I thought I would just edit my last post and that was my first mistake. So with the click of my keyboard all of my historical writings were gone. Poof,, somewhere in cyber space floats about a years worth of words. So be sure to read everything before you take an action, check all the fine print before doing anything, and make sure that if the worse happens you can still save the process. So I have picked myself up, well not litterally, but with a great amount of effort I have struggled to my feet and brushed my frustration off and ready to try this again.

I have been moving from site to site staying updated on what everyone is doing and wow, one family is moving, one person is going on vacation soon for the second time, and one family is struggling with life's challenges. Just a typical day in the neighborhood.

I am tying to prepare for the end of one program year and enter into a new year of services. This year promises to be a challenge. I will finally have an office to call my own, well, the county is providing me a space to use. I cannot move out of my car fast enough. Most of my paper work is dog earred from having it slide from one side of my car to the other. Or my trying to catch it before it flys on the floorboard when I stop too fast. I am sure the next time I turn in a report they will be thrilled when they no longer have to read through the coffee stains. I decided that I am professionally challenged. I went to work the other day with what I thought was reasonably presentable. I grabbed my briefcase and keys and as always threw it in the car and raced down the street. I was fine until I stopped at a traffic light and looked down at my shirt. You see, I thought I had black slacks on but no I had navy blue. My top was black but it was knit and on the sleeve was lint, not a little but a lot. Well, I think it is too late to go back I will try the old scotch tape technique and rid myself of the lint and with luck I will station myself behind my desk. YEP, you guessed it. A meeting was called and so on the way I am plotting how to get into the conference room with my briefcase covering my lower half as I am ripping the tape off my sleeve. So I am one of the firsts there and I sigh with relief until I look at my feet and find that I am wearing one blue knee high and one black. Well, at least I am consistent, it could have been one brown one.

I have decided that I am never going to have Martha Stewarts flare for putting together the shabby with class look, nor will I have Better Homes seal of approval. I will always fall short of perfection and most likely just be average. Of course, I don't want to quit striving to be better but I do want to be less concerned if I ever reach that level. So tomorrow I am going to choose my clothes carefully, check my knee highs and shoes then pull out of my garage with my head held high hoping I don't forget to comb my hair.